Brutally Honest Design
We make gear that speaks fluent sarcasm
Built to Stir Trouble
Our shirts, our rules. If it starts a conversation… good
Small Brand, Big Mouth
RoastWear: for those who don’t play nice—but play smart
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Goblin Capitalist T-Shirt
$24.64
Shipping calculated at checkout.
Goblin Capitalist Unisex Softstyle T-Shirt Description (RoastWear Edition)
You’re not building wealth — you’re hoarding it. The Goblin Capitalist Unisex Softstyle T-Shirt lets everyone know your financial strategy involves greed, questionable morals, and maybe some late-night cackling over gold piles. Whether you're cornering the market, draining your team’s will to live, or just flexing your inner chaos creature, this shirt makes your motives crystal clear. Pulled straight from the Billionaire Chaos universe where personal flaws fuel fashion, this design turns your morally flexible empire-building into a statement piece.
Product features
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100% ring-spun cotton for aggressively soft comfort
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Ribbed collar stays structured — unlike your ethics
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Shoulder tape prevents stretching while you stretch the truth
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Lightweight fabric (4.5 oz/yd²) perfect for year-round gold hoarding
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Ethically produced US cotton — for extra irony points
Care instructions
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Do not dryclean — your reputation’s messy, your shirt doesn’t have to be
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Do not bleach
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Tumble dry: low heat
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Iron, steam, or dry: low heat
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Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), with similar colors
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CARE & MAINTENANCE
To maintain the beauty and integrity of your purchase, we recommend treating it with care. Simple maintenance practices, such as gentle washing and proper storage, can effectively preserve the longevity of your favorites. We encourage you to refer to the care instructions included with each item, designed to help you keep your purchase in top condition.
SHIPPING & RETURNS
We strive to process and ship all orders in a timely manner, working diligently to ensure that your items are on their way to you as soon as possible. Need to return something? Just let us know.